I Am So Devastated & Sad

Toto, Totie Floatie, The Totster, Totie FloatStuff, ToFuzz, has passed away. She was my favorite girl Brunner cat. She was The Queen. She was approaching 20 and died in her sleep.

The devasting part of it is, that it more than likely happened days ago. They found her under the TV cabinet today, one of her favorite places to sleep. I do not remember the last time I saw her up and about. We all have been so focused on Zoey, who got hit by a car and broke his elbow. I remember seeing her "sleeping" under the cabinet on Monday. I was there on Sunday but I can't remember seeing her. This is making me so sad. I cry & cry.

She was so damn fuzzy! Her top part of her head was simply amazing. I would put my fingers in it and say "I lost my fingers in your fluzz". (fluffy fuzz) She was the first cat I had ever seen lay on her belly with her legs straight out in back. The only other... my Obie. I will now think of her always when he does it. She had the cutest way of laying with her arms straight out crossed, like the Queen she was. Sometimes a full crossing, other times, one hand on top of the other. She would adjust them... uncrossing, crossing, uncrossing, crossing, to get it just right. So regal, so elegant.

Oh Toto... I wish I could have seen you one last time.

The Queen is Gone.